Queen Leah: “all of you come up here and Cornelius can you please get me some bear as well” Cornelius:”awe man come on mum im so tired” Queen Leah:”if you love me just do what I say” Cornelius:”fine” the other 2 brothers were lined up next to each other like they already new what she was about to say finally the last brother came up sweaty with the bear on shirt the two brothers giggled as Cornelius slowly walked to the line.Queen Leah:”where’s my bear”Cornelius:”uh sorry mum I spilt it on the stairs”queen Leah: “never mind any way each one of you have to give a speech to me on how much you love me, you will all get one of King Lear”s restaurants but whoever loves me the most gets the biggest restaurant that he owns because he is going to retire soon”.
“Gon your the first on to speak” Queen Leah said “madame i love you more than words can say i would prefer you rather than to see my whole life,if i owned the whole of space i would leave it for you and i would rather not look like like i am now rather for you to be alive and beyond all manner i love you so much”.
“my second son to speak Reggie” ” i feel the same about Gon but his speech was too short,i am a enemy to other joys and you are the most speacial thing that a square sense posses.
and said
“Then poor Cornelius the last one.”Queen Leah said.Cornelius started going red and took a while to even open his mouth,finally he speaks and says”iv got nothing to say”Queen Leah was disappointed”WHAT NOTHING!”nothing mum” Cornelius said while the two brothers looked surprised.”Unhappy that i am i cannot pull my heart into my mouth for how much i love you to for our bond together as well.”why fix your speech a little other wise you will not get the biggest restaurant.” Queen Leah said.Cornelius tried to mend his speech and said “you have looked after me and
loved me and i give those duties back to you,i obeyed you,loved you and respected you and i will always love you”
“But why did you do you say that your so young?” Cornelius spoke and said “i know im so young but thats true”
“so let that be your speech i guess you don’t love me then”
February 19, 2016 at 8:58 pm
Jay, this is a really strong first draft that is very close to a number of badges. However, you need to make some formatting changes.
Targets:
1) Scripts don’t need speech marks because it is all speech. Remove them.
2) Each time a new character speaks, you should start a new line.
3) Stage directions should be on a new line and in italics.